Because I am a jerk and a smart-ass, I won two arguments today.
First, two coworkers and I were discussing the problems that can arise in pregnancy due to Rh factor. (Rh factor is the thing that makes your blood type "positive" or "negative.") Coworker C was certain that if the mother's and father's factor differed, it would be a problem no matter who was positive, while I felt certain (based on the logic of how A, B, and + work in blood typing) that only if the mother was negative and the father positive could problems arise, not if the mother is positive and the father is negative. She was insistent, so I looked it up online and confirmed my theory.
Later in the day, my boss (who had been privy to this earlier conversation) gave me a document to proofread. The document stated that we gave up a certain lease because of its "proximity" to a well that we drilled. The lease was actually far from the well, and while I think technically "due to its proximity" could convey that, it sounds much more like we dropped it because it was close to the well.
She insisted that "proximity" refers to something being far away. I argued. She looked it up in the dictionary. I stood by hoping that the definition therein would be conclusive. It was.
"Well then a lot of people use that word wrong," she huffed (mildly).
"I hate her now too, C!" she called out a minute later.
I swear I do not wake up in the morning trying to be a jerk. And I stand by my actions in the second case, since using the word wrong would have made the memo confusing. But I probably could have let the Rh thing go.