I have to admit, I am kind of hating my life right now. I might even be a wee bit depressed.
If I tell you what is wrong, odds are that my life might end. Sally might actually fly up here just to kick my ass. (I'm sure she doesn't want to have to do that, but she would, and she'd enjoy it.)
But basically I am bored.
Without school and without having a roommate like Mosch who actually wants to do things (Ed basically keeps to himself most of the time), I don't have anything to structure my free time around. And just working full time, at a job 8 minutes from my apartment, is not enough to fill my time.
Of course, there are plenty of things I should be doing. I should clean the kitchen more. There are a ton of chores that need doing, actually. I should cook healthy meals. And I could study my textbooks for next semester, or go through the GRE Math Subject exam book that I have, or...well, there are so many things. But without a sense of urgency it is hard for me to do any of that stuff. And I just feel very blah.
I am kind of in that rut of feeling that I have nothing to do, yet being unwilling to do any of the things I could do. I am kind of just being a screw-up. And I don't want to develop any new hobbies, because school starts in two weeks (yay) and then I won't have time to do anything at all.
Is it a bad sign that I can't entertain myself for an entire summer? (I'm thinking yes.)
3 comments:
Think back to childhood. If you were like most kids, you ran out of things you wanted to do about two weeks into the summer. Even though you work now to occupy time, you still have a TON of time you don't normally have, and as you say, you don't want to start something new, because you only have this time temporarily - it is almost amazing you got to this close to school starting before feeling the walls closing in.
It's been a little bit bad all summer, but it's definitely getting worse as time goes on.
Clearly your future contains summer classes. Or you can always go for your PhD at some point: that way, any damn thing other than working on your dissertation will seem wonderful and fun by comparison. Cooking a batch of brown rice: awesome! Scooping kitty litter: yay!
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